A Tooth Fairy Interrogation

Find what’s funny today

I remember the toasts on my wedding day clearly. My husband, Patrick, is one of the funniest, happiest, and full of life guys you’ll ever meet. To know Patrick is to know how to belly laugh and have fun even in the middle of life’s absurdities or hardships. True to Patrick’s character, his Best Man toasted how hilarious he is. He toasted to all of his crazy antics and how wonderful it was just to be around him. I smiled widely that day, knowing in truth that I had married him largely because he encouraged the funny and playful side of me to come out a bit more. And I would now (and still do), as his wife, get to belly laugh every day with him.

I also remember my sister, who was my Maid of Honor, in her toast commenting that people sometimes see me too seriously. She noted that I could also be a pretty funny person. That’s the thing – when you do crazy stuff like study death and dying for a professional living or become a philosophy minor in college just because you like reading Aristotle and Kant…how can you not be viewed as a little too serious?

But I’ve always been drawn to humor, especially dark humor, as I find the levity of an almost irreverent laugh to be comforting. It’s like finding tiny cracks of light that ease the darkness. I also just like laughing, even when life is going especially well.

I remember attending the funeral of a dear friend’s son; she lost him just a few days before his due date. That funeral was earth shatteringly painful; my heart throbbed in a deep ache I hadn’t yet known as a human on this earth. How could such a perfect and tiny baby die?

In the long line to go up to her after the funeral was over to provide words of solace, I remember seeing all the people go before me. They clearly offered kind, touching words, bringing on more tears.

When it was my turn to come up to her, I don’t know why but I cracked a joke. Not a joke about the tragedy of losing her son, of course, but about something we could sort of laugh at in the moment. Afterwards, I thought, “Who does that? Who cracks a joke at a baby’s funeral?” But then, someone close to me said, “You know what, she might have been tired of her tears and welcomed a laugh.”

I hear this theme repeated with the many people I work with who are left in the aftermath of grief and loss. They love (although often feel guilty about) the small moments where they can laugh in the middle of it. But I say (and the data back me that humor is strangely effective way to manage grief), laugh away.

I’ve never asked my friend about that day, so I don’t know if she welcomed the laugh. But in going through my own experiences of death and loss, I’ve experienced time and time again when a joke is cracked at a funeral or on a deathbed. A small moment of levity comes to bring us out of the heaviness of that moment and that reality.

I think this photo is hilarious. My sweet 6-year-old daughter, when I showed it to her, thought I was a monster because I wasn’t sadder about it! I love kids; they are the best of us. Source: Pixabay.com (Alexa)

Our lives are constantly offering up small funny moments for us, whether we are in pain or not. In all of it, there are spaces to laugh. So today, I wanted to share one of those moments with you. Nothing major or horrible has happened, but it’s been a hard season. And yet, there are many moments to laugh. As you laugh at this moment alongside me, ask yourself, “What’s something funny in my own life today? Where can I laugh?” And don’t feel guilty about it!

*And if you can’t laugh in your own life, might I recommend funny pet videos on TikTok or YouTube?

A tooth fairy interrogation (show yourself, Tooth Fairy!)

My 6-year-old daughter recently lost her tooth. She, somehow being both one of the most faith-filled people I know and a true skeptic, wasn’t so sure the tooth fairy was real. She was convinced it was her parents. So, to test her theory, she left the tooth fairy this note, asking her to answer for himself/herself:

“What do you look like tooth fairy?!” (*Note: She was very clear that she was asking with a lot of emotion, thus the ? and the !)

That night, when it came time to swap the tooth for cash, I told my husband who is an artist, “You should sketch a picture of the tooth fairy for her.” I wasn’t sure if he had done it, so I started on it myself. Our two sketches of the tooth fairy perfectly summarize our personalities and artistic abilities.

Exhibit A (Me), not an artist but someone who really delivers what you ask for:

Listen, this note is to the point and giving exactly what she wanted. Is it giving angel energy? Yes. But also, it could be a tooth fairy. Are we seeing why I’m NOT an artist? As my daughter said when my husband was out of town, “I’m the artist of the house now that Dad’s gone…not Mom.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Exhibit B (my husband), who is both an artist and a very fun, imaginative narrator:

Larry the Fairy’s got a great back story. Note reads: “Happy first tooth day! It means you are getting bigger than you ever have before. Truth is my name is Larry the fairy, and I am a tooth fairy in training. This being your first tooth makes me happy that you’re my first kid I’ve been assigned. I hope you enjoy the money I’ve left. Tell your parents to get you a giant Lolly Pop! That’s what I’d do. I saw you asked me what I looked like so lucky for you I carry around photos of myself. I may not be the prettiest, but I am definitely the funnest. I look forward to seeing you more as you lose more teeth!”

As you can imagine, Larry the Fairy won out. This, my dear friends, illustrates the power of good story telling! 😆 I hope this made you smile a bit today and maybe even laugh a little.