Finding a New Way to Experience Joy

When the fogginess of life refuses to roll back away from the shore

It’s been a while since I wrote here, and that’s because I have been whisked up in the delight of summer in the Pacific Northwest. In the final few weeks of summer, I took to switching my writing practice to largely consist of pen and paper on a journal in the early sunny mornings while we still have them. It has been both a busy time of travel and enjoying long summer days outside with my husband and children as well as quieter time for more reflective writing.

For one of my recent trips, my family and I made our first trip to the Oregon coast. If you have ever been there, you know how gloriously marvelous it is. If you have not, suffice it to say that every single person we told we were heading to the Oregon coast responded with a tiny gasp and “Oh! The Oregon coast!” with dreamy love-struck eyes.

The Oregon coast is so stunning because it combines the glorious deep blue of the Pacific Ocean with these incredible rock structures along the shore. It’s a stunning landscape where tide pools and caves draw you into an incredible world to explore. Tiny starfish and sea anemones peak out as the tides reside and, as I would discover, the rolling waves bring treasures like jade and agate to the shore.

For this trip, I found an amazing deal on a tiny, humble condo right on the beach when I booked back in January (the big dark is real!). My favorite thing in the entire world is a stellar beach view where I can see the sunset and hear the waves. The first day we arrived, the beach did not disappoint. It gave us one of the most stunning sunsets I have ever seen. “This is the definition of being awe-struck!” my husband declared of that glorious sunset.

This picture doesn’t do it full justice, but isn’t this the most incredible sunset??

But then, the next day a crazy thick fog rolled in to the shore. You couldn’t even see the ocean due to how thick the fog was. I wasn’t worry because, after all, I was going to be there for five more days and the weather forecast had it clearing out by the next day. But the next day came, and it still hadn’t cleared. And the next day…and the next day.

We would never see another sunset for all seven days we were there.

Taken at sunset the following day. This is what it looked like for almost the rest of the entire trip.

We would go to nearly every stunning outlook viewpoint and see only fog.

By day three of the fog, I finally relinquished my dreams of watching another glorious sunset. A bit disappointed, I thought to myself, “What could we switch to doing that doesn’t rely on sweeping views or sunsets?” I was curious to find something outside the box, something I had never considered.

The idea struck me while we were on a foggy beach one afternoon. I saw a bunch of people seemingly hunting for something on the rocky shores. I wondered if they were agate hunting, a hobby that rockhounds take quite seriously in this part of the country. Agates are a fine-grained form of quartz that the ocean brings to shore at high tide. As the tide begins to recede, the shores leave these tiny, beautiful and fun treasures to find among the many rocks washed ashore.

One evening, while out on an evening walk, I started to notice a few agates glistening in the waning sunlight. “Agates!” I thought. I didn’t realize it, but the beach we were staying at is apparently one of the best for agate hunting in the state of Oregon (which has some of the best agate spots in the Pacific Northwest). Suddenly, now that I was hunting, I began to see agate after agate. Locked into the task, I was no longer focused on the fog as its presence or absence was completely irrelevant to my new hobby. I just hunted for agates, hearing the waves of the sea behind me. It was mesmerizingly Zen.

My first haul! With some agates and jade mixed in there.

Where in your life do you need to go agate hunting?

This agate hunting adventure made me think: “Where in my life do I proverbially need to go agate hunting? Where am I pushing and pushing for the fog to roll out and willing sunset to come but it just isn’t happening?”

The truth is that we all know the fog will eventually roll out. Life inevitably is composed of ups and downs. Good seasons give way to bad seasons which give way back to good seasons, much like the ocean tide. But what I am most interested in is how do we tolerate and maybe even find a bit of joy in the foggy seasons of life?

*The video of the rocky shores with agates.

Waiting for your fog to roll out

Do you have a dream, a hope, a desire that just simply isn’t coming true?

Maybe you are suddenly a caregiving for an ailing spouse or parent, and no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to reclaim time for yourself due to the burden of caring for them. When will free time return?

Maybe you are struggling with prolonged illness or a sudden injury and now you can’t do the daily activities you once took for granted – long walks, travel, or gardening. When will my physical capabilities return?

Maybe that job you thought you were perfect for didn’t come through or that trip you so desperately dream of, you can’t afford. When will something good come?

We have all been there. That space where what we want is extraordinarily clear, but the world seems to be preventing it.

Where in this space of difficulty, waiting and fogginess can you go agate hunting? What is your form of agate hunting?

May you find something this week that brings you joy and peace in the waiting.

If you are someone in your network is interested in coaching, having me present a workshop or training, or having me at your next speaking engagement, please go to my website for more information. I do work on managing uncertainty, coping with loss (both death and loss of jobs, relationships, etc.), and continuing to find light in the wound.